It’s common for women to notice changes in their sex drive and sex life between the ages of 40 and 50, sexologist and Passionerad author Sofie Roos told HuffPost UK.
Sometimes these can be caused by hormonal changes like perimenopause and menopause. Vaginal dryness, reduced blood flow, and pain during penetrative sex may become more likely at this stage of life.
But Roos added that these changes are not inevitable, nor are they always negative.
Indeed, a 2012 article suggests that women over 80 are among the most sexually satisfied, despite having less sexual desire or sexual activity. Another study found that women’s levels of age-related sexual “dysfunction” did not appear to affect their likelihood of remaining “active” in the bedroom.
Instead, the most important factor by far was the importance they placed on sex.
So perhaps it shouldn’t be all that surprising to learn that in a 2023 study, middle-aged women in relationships with men didn’t report that age or menopause were the main reasons for declining sexual activity.
Frequency of sexual intercourse may decrease without reduction in satisfaction
In this study, researchers examined data from 2,133 participants involved in the third UK National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles, conducted between 2010 and 2012. They sought to find links between sexual satisfaction, activity and functioning of women in relationships with men in their 40s with health and lifestyle factors.
The team also conducted interviews with 23 women, aged 45 to 59, who said they were unhappy with their sex lives during the survey. According to the authors, this was done because “women’s perspectives rarely inform the interpretation” of data like this.
The study found that having less frequent sex was much more common than lower sexual satisfaction among this cohort. In other words, it’s possible that mature women are perfectly satisfied with their sex lives, even if they don’t “get into it” as regularly.
Interestingly, after analyzing their data, the researchers also found that “neither menopausal stage nor age was independently associated with any dimension of sexual experience.”
But relationship dissatisfaction was independently linked to lower sexual satisfaction, activity, and function. Difficulty communicating with their partner was also linked to two of these factors (dissatisfaction and lower functioning).
Fatigue could be an overlooked factor here
After in-depth interviews with dissatisfied middle-aged women, the study authors “identified influences on sexual activity not captured in the survey.”
A recurring theme was exhaustion due to “contemporary challenges of midlife.” This “dominant” fatigue may be more likely to decrease sexual activity and satisfaction if a woman’s relationship also seems deficient.
Speaking to HuffPost UK about women’s sleep in their 40s, Dr Ghazala Aziz-Scott, women’s health specialist at the Marion Gluck Clinic, previously told us that “women tend to have children in their 30s and later, so with perimenopause comes juggling a lot of competing responsibilities, and we have an aging population, (the responsibility for which) also falls on women in society.”
She added: “All of this, plus managing work outside the home, takes a toll on middle-aged women’s stress levels, and their own self-care in terms of good diet and exercise takes a back seat.”
This is not to say that physiological changes have no role in women’s sexual experiences over the course of their lives. Another study looking at factors affecting the sex lives of middle-aged women found that those who had fewer hot flashes had more sex than others, and that higher estradiol levels were associated with fewer sexual difficulties.
However, the same article also reveals that tired middle-aged women tend to be more likely to have a partner, but also have more sexual difficulties.
The 2023 study, which included interviews with women, concluded: “Sexual experience in midlife must be interpreted in light of the life stage and times, including the increasing demands placed on women in contemporary society and their impact on vitality.”
“Efforts to improve sexual well-being must consider the broader social context.”
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