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FRISCO, Texas — I’ll keep this one short. I’m perplexed. I’m baffled. I’m starting to wonder if I’ve been transported to the mirror dimension without my consent, where up is down and down is up.
That’s the only logical explanation for what I’ve seen from the Dallas Cowboys through the first eight games of the 2026 season, because it’s been…strange.
Offensively, on paper, this is one of the upper echelon teams, and one that has proven capable of being No. 1 in the country over the course of a season – producing two 1,000-yard All-Pro receivers (a first in George Pickens’ career, with a Pro Bowl nod), a 1,200-yard running back and a 4,500-yard Pro Bowl quarterback en route to an average of almost 30 points per game.
This is where you probably point out that they’re averaging almost the same number of points through their first eight games in 2026, but that would be disingenuous, given that the three most recent losses could rightly be tied to offense just as much, if not more, at times, than defense.
And, by the way, nine of those 30 points scored against the Cardinals were on field goals, meaning the offense only scored 21 points, and in what world is scoring just 21 points more than enough to put a game away?
Ah yes, in the mirror dimension.
The losses to the Buccaneers and Packers are, in my opinion, more attributable to the offense’s inability to take advantage of the flashes shown by the defense than the other way around and, to a fairly significant extent, the same is true in the loss to the Cardinals, when the defense followed through until the 1:35 mark in the third quarter – on its first seven drives:
- Punt
- Turnover on downs (4th and inches on the goal line)
- Interception
- Punt
- Field goal
- Forced/recovered groping
- Punt
- 3 bags (one per quarter on average)
Now let’s see what the results of the Cowboys’ first seven offensive drives were:
- Punt
- Touchdown – Q1 (fumbled then recovered in the end zone)
- Touchdown – Q2 (game interrupted, Ryan Flournoy saved it)
- Punt
- Missed field goal – 61 yards to end the first half
- Successful field goal – 31 yards – Q3
- Punt
As you can see in the breakdown above, the offense only scored 17 points in its first seven series, with one touchdown almost being a disastrous lost fumble in the end zone and the other thanks to a one-on-one play by Prescott and Flournoy, not because of a play call that overrode what the Cardinals decided to do on this play.
When Gardner Minshew entered the game late in the third quarter, the Cardinals had just one four percent chance of winning the game.
If the Cowboys had turned one of those three punts into a field goal, the odds would have fallen to <1% for the Cardinals and, had they turned one of those three punts into a touchdown – just one of them – the chances of a successful comeback would have been virtual zero despite the defensive collapse in the fourth quarter.
The difference between 24-3 and 17-3 with 16.5 minutes left is actually huge, and even 20-3 makes it a three-possession game that takes away the rushing attack, meaning Tyler Allgeier probably won’t get a chance to have a career day in the fourth quarter because Minshew would have had to drop back 35 times to try to get the Cardinals back in the game.
That’s not to say he wouldn’t have still thrown three touchdowns against a secondary without Joey Porter Jr. and without Caleb Downs, but do the projected math based on what the Cowboys offense did in the fourth quarter.
- Touchdown – Prescott 5 yard scrum – Q4
- Successful field goal – 35 yards – Q4
Assuming the offense was able to turn one of the punts into a touchdown, the hypothetical score of 24-3 — giving Minshew three touchdowns in that scenario, while removing Allgeier based on the fact that they were pushed into a one-dimensional game by a three-possession deficit — means the final score in regulation would have been 34-24 in a victory.
And if one of the three punts was turned into a field goal and not a touchdown, all things remaining the same in that scenario, the Cowboys win 30-24 in regulation.
Now, if they absolutely cooked like they have the potential to when firing on all cylinders, maybe the Cowboys turn two or three of those potential punts into touchdowns and, at this point, it’s an absolute rout that leaves the Cardinals no chance, breaking their will in the process en route to a blowout victory at home.
But, okay, none of that happened and the Cowboys offense still only needed a first down and a few more yards in overtime to put themselves in position for a potential game-winning kick from Aubrey, after the defense forced Minshew into a three-pointer on its first possession – getting another sack in the process.
The offense marched down the field, without CeeDee Lamb or George Pickens, and actually lost five yards in three plays before getting outside its own 24-yard line. That’s on top of the head-scratching decision to play conservatively for a field goal to end regulation, only forcing a six-point lead that would have cost them the game heading into overtime if not for a missed point after the attempt.
Prescott said he wished they were more aggressive, and owner, president and general manager Jerry Jones said he wanted the offense to get strong enough again to get Dallas through a bad quarter or two against a still-growing defense.
In three of the last four games, neither has happened, and now they have suffered another heartbreaking and unfathomable loss in 2026, again at home, and I wonder what could have happened against Arizona if the Cowboys offense would have shown up the way it did in Philadelphia.
But hey, at least the offense scored 30 points, right? What an unserious take.
If they scored those 30 points on their first four or five possessions of this contest, overall, we probably wouldn’t be here in the mirror dimension trying to figure out why the buildings and streets are upside down, right?
Expect better on both sides of the ball in Dallas, period, but expect more from the group with a much larger number of All-Pros and Pro Bowlers – who is also healthier by far – and also from the maestro holding the bat.
Everyone knew Christian Parker would have growing pains, and the injuries greatly exaggerated them, but what is the excuse for the attack?
The potential is there, but time is quickly running out for this statement to make sense.
Gn sports
