Taylor Swift Crushes Dakota Johnson’s ‘SNL’ Monologue

Predictions that Taylor Swift would make an appearance on “Saturday Night Live” with host Dakota Johnson came to fruition when the duo appeared together in the opening monologue.

After Johnson joked about her failed relationships, she said, “I have really good friends. They don’t judge me, they really support me. Ladies and gentlemen, my literal therapist.”

Swift then appeared on screen — in what one Swiftie on “And then you say…”

“Slumber party, yeah!” Johnson said.

“Then I give you Pedialyte and my security takes you home,” Swift said.

Then the topic returned to Johnson’s love life. Earlier in the monologue, after jokes about her “tight latex dress” and the failure of “Madame Web,” the actress said, “What else has happened since the last time I hosted? Well, I’ve been through two very public, very lame breakups with two really great musicians,” referring to Chris Martin and Coldplay’s Role Model. “I’m looking for a third,” she added. Mentioning that her new film “Verity” is a “psychosexual erotic thriller,” she noted, “The same goes for musicians who date. Some of them don’t wear shoes, some of them are terrible in bed, but they’re all in my DMs. It’s not my fault, though. Some people leave shows with merch, and I leave shows with a two-and-a-half year relationship.”

With Swift by his side a few minutes later, Johnson returned to the subject and continued: “Real quick, while we’re talking about musicians, I think I’m actually doing a public service by hanging out with them, because, ladies, I’m saving you a lot of money on Zoloft. So you’re welcome, America. And also England. And parts of Ireland. And Cleveland,” a reference to Travis Kelce, which led to the line, “Apparently.”

Swift then shouted “It’s her birthday!” — just a little prematurely, as Johnson had earlier announced that his birthday would arrive at midnight.