Leaving my last job, I remember feeling a nauseating combination of fear and excitement, like I’d gotten up too quickly and become dizzy. For the first time in a long time, I started making choices based on what I actually needed rather than what I was told was expected of me, and that feeling of empowerment was very liberating.
Suddenly I had options: where to work, who to contact, and what opportunities to pursue. I was able to reach out to people I respected and ask them if they would like to work with me, and as more and more people said yes, my confidence returned. Although it must have looked chaotic from the outside, self-employment regularly seemed very structured. A project might involve traveling to a new studio, receiving a brief, working for a set period of time, getting paid an agreed daily rate, and then leaving.
The requests were generally clearer: it made sense for the agency or client to have all the pieces ready, so I could hit the ground running. I enjoyed the combination of structure and variety because I could work with different people, in different locations, on different tasks, while still having a defined role to play. The separation meant fewer opportunities to get involved in domestic politics and so I could concentrate solely on work. It was really satisfying, and I got a big dose of dopamine with each invoice I sent, each one being tangible proof of my success.
Soon after, I had the opportunity to work with agencies and people I really admired, and the confidence and momentum I gained from that was substantial. It worked for a long time; from 2019 to 2025, I was never really at peace. There was always something to do: a brief, an email to send, an overdue invoice to follow up on – the list was long.
Gn Health
